Streaming, We Hardly Knew Ye

So the last week in July was a little odd around the Hardman household.  (Actually, with a house full of kids, there’s always something unusual going on, but this was a little different.)  It was around that juncture that I received an email from our internet provider saying that we had used up 90% of the data allotted under our plan.

First of all, the email alone was a bit of a surprise.  In all the years we’ve had internet service, I’ve never gotten a message like that.  (As a matter of fact, I’d practically forgotten we even had a data plan.) Naturally, I had to take a gander and see just how much data we had used. Frankly it was a bit of a shock:  our plan provided about 1 terabyte of data per month, and – in a little over 3 weeks – we had used 900 GB.  900!!!

Just to be clear, 1 TB will give you something like 1000 hours of standard definition streaming. (To put that in perspective, there are only 720 hours total in a 30-day month.) Even with HD, 1 terabyte will provide something on the order of 333 hours of streaming (i.e., 10 hours a day). How in the [bleeping] world did we use 900 GB in 3 [bleeping] weeks???

When I quizzed the kids, no one fessed up to being the data hog. (Big surprise.) Since our internet provider was threatening to charge us if we went over our plan, I told the young Hardmans that they had 2 choices: they could cough up the cash upfront to pay for exceeding the plan (which I was sure would happen) or we could cease streaming for a week.  (I mean, let’s be honest: the kids – at least in my house – are the major culprits.  Between constantly playing music, playing online games, watching movies and so on, the bulk of the internet usage is a result of their actions.) Much to my surprise, my progeny turned out to be skinflints: they decided to forego streaming for a week rather than pay a few bucks each to continue life as usual.

To be honest, they probably thought that Daddy would be a nice guy and let it slide if they went over. Little did they know. Having just been pistol-whipped by the college tuition bill for our eldest, I was in no mood to be squeezed for additional fees over excess streaming.  That being the case, “streaming” became the equivalent of a 4-letter word in our house.  In fact, I basically became something like a narc, with streaming being tantamount to digital crack. Thus, we ended up having conversations like this:

 

Younger Child: Dad, I think your Elder Son is streaming.
Me: What??!!
Younger Child: Yeah – he and his friend Richie went in his room and shut the door, but when I passed by I heard three voices inside. I think they’re streaming.
***Races upstairs, bursts into Elder Son’s room unannounced***
Me: What’s going on in here?
Elder Son: N-n-nothing.
Me: Nothing? Doesn’t sound like nothing? What’s that I’m hearing?
***Elder Son gestures at friend, who manically taps at cell phone until sound stops***
Me: So what was that?
Elder Son: It was nothing. We were just-
Me: Streaming? Over the home network?
Elder Son: No! It was, uh, it was cellular.
Me: Cellular, huh? Are you sure it wasn’t streaming via our wifi?
Elder Son: No, Dad! I would never stream! You taught me better than that! It was the cellular on Richie’s phone – I promise.
Me: The cellular?
Elder Son: Yes! He isn’t even on our network.
***Eyes Richie skeptically***
Me: Is this true?
Richie: Yes, sir. It was my phone’s cellular, honest.
Me: Good. I’d hate to have to call your mother and tell her you were over here streaming. It would break her heart…

 

Needless to say, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. The kids acted as though they didn’t know how to function without full access to their devices:

 

“What are we supposed to do if we can’t watch videos or movies, or play music?”
“I don’t know.  Maybe play Monopoly or Twister. Go outside and get some fresh air. Read a book. Or – *gasp* – maybe talk to each other. I just know what you won’t be doing, and that’s anything that involves streaming a bunch of data.”

 

Thus, I had the job of keeping an eye on everybody and monitoring our data usage. Aside from policing the kids and basically having to walk a beat in my own house to make sure people weren’t streaming on the sly, this curtailment of streamed data also presented me with challenges in terms of my own habits. Whenever I took a moment to kick back and watch television for a moment, I had to think about what I was planning to watch and whether it involved streaming. For instance, I’m a Netflix junkie and keep my watch list pretty much filled to the brim.  (Back before they split the streaming and DVD service, I called them about an issue and the rep was shocked to find that I had 500 movies – which is the max – in the DVD queue, as well as 500 on my streaming list (also the max). He said he’d never even heard on anyone having either of those filled up, let alone both.) I pretty much had to quit cold turkey for the last week in July, which was more difficult than I thought it would be.  Also, there’s the stuff I do when I’m at the computer working on a story, such as researching a topic.

Anyway, we [thankfully] didn’t exceed the allotment under our plan, and a new month meant things went back to normal – to a certain extent. I told the kids we’re operating under a low-res, low-def policy going forward.  No more of this being able to see the pores in people’s skin when watching videos/movies; I want colors indistinct and faces so blurry you can’t tell who’s speaking. That’s probably over-the-top (and unlikely to be fully enforced), but I need them to know that I’m serious about not exceeding our data plan.  More than likely, my wife and I will just have to confiscate all electronics if it looks like things are getting out of control again (although we typically only do that when grades start slipping).  For now, however, I’m just keeping a close eye on the data usage. Daily.